You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
