Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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