You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
