I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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