So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
