Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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