and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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