Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
