Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
