I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
