Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
