i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
