4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize