It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize