I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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