dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
