put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
