We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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