Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
