And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
