I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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