I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
