I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
