you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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