Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
