You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
