Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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