Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
