man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize