is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
