You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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