So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
