I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize