I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
