I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
