good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
