we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Pooping to opera.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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