RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize