Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
