Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
