Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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