My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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