Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
