the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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