i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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