sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
