Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize