I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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