Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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