Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
