You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
