Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
