Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They have beer where we have blood.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
