Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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