its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
