Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
