yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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