Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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