remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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