nut hugger
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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